If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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