I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
