nut hugger
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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