i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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