Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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