there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
