you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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