I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
