The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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