I'm sorry my penis didn't work
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
