Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
