so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
