so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
