You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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