quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
