Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
