lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
