I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
