Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
