let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
