its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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