I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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