i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
