I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
