i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
