He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
