butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
