i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
