maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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