So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
