she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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