I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
