no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
