bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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