i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
