the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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