You work out of a Hotel?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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