if i died would you start the facebook group?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
