he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
