I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
