Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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