I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
