So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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