Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
