Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
