wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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