saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
