That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
