Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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