so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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